The BBC Guide to survive during Euro2004

[james]

Quite funny in places and useful for anyone that's been in a bubble for the last few months and not heard a thing about Euro2004 or indeed football.

.......Certain phrases are verboten. Nothing will reveal your lack of football knowledge more than an ill-conceived comment. Avoid the following:

"6-nil? All to play for then?"
"Which ones are England?"
"Wow - did you see how far he kicked that?"
"He's picked it up! He's throwing it! I thought you couldn't do that?"

Replace said utterances with generalised, chin-stroking observations such as:

"Hmmmm, they're playing a little deep."
"They should push up more."
"They should bring on a holding midfielder."
"They need to get the ball into channels."

A few of these confidently delivered during the game should disguise your ignorance.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3797259.stm