uncollected.co.uk

i knew it would be the fucking swans. they've been looking shifty for months, like they know something we don't. never trust a swan. they're not even migratory, they've just been paying sneaky little winter holidays over in maharashtra. bastards. i bet the royal family's got something to do with this too. the queen's protected birds my arse. kill them all.

I don't see what the big fuss is all about really.
Just give them damn birds some lemsip and be done with it.

it had to be a swan. the royals had the right idea when they used to wipe their arses on their necks.